Memorial
Tributes
Memorial Tributes from Friends of Andy Kay
[Arranged in chronological order; by date received if e-mail, and by date sent if card or letter. Special note: We tried to save every memorial received and think we did well on the postal items. However, we were receiving a lot of e-mails on two computers and suspect that a few may have been digitally hosted. If you do not find yours here, we would be most appreciative if you could forward another copy from your sent mail. Finally, we didn’t know how to save the many phoned tributes. So, if that was you, please feel invited to repeat by e-mail or pen and we’ll add it.]
____________________________________________________________________
Card mailed 8/25/22
Dear Jerry,
I don’t think any description of Andy is more fitting than “remembering a life well lived”. It seemed that Andy always made the most of situations and learned to follow his heart. He will be missed by many.
With much love,
Carol [Egan, Kailua, Oahu, HI]
____________________________________________________________________
Card delivered with flowers 8/27/22
Jerry,
Wishing you peace and comfort. We are thinking of you during this difficult time. We are sending you our sincere condolences.
Your neighbors,
Jim & Judy [Kaneohe]
_____________________________________________________________________
Card hand delivered at yoga ca. 8/27/22
Jerry,
Andy was one of a kind. He was my inspiration for where art can take you. He was also my teacher. I will always remember his bigger than life smiles.
My condolences to you. Tom sends his condolences as well. We wish you well.
With love and aloha,
Karen & Tom [Watanabe & Loomis, Kailua, Oahu, HI]
_____________________________________________________________________
Card mailed 8/29/22
Dear Jerry,
Lala called me today to tell me of Andy’s passing. I am so very sorry for your unexpected and painful loss.
I, of course, have so many lovely memories of both you and Andy - in yoga, your house visiting w. Lala & Tomi, Straub clinic, Kohl’s Thanksgiving bash & more.
Andy was your perfect complement. His yin to your yang. I hope your 45 years spent together bring you comfort now.
Much aloha,
Helen [Petros, Westfield, MA]
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
Card mailed 8/30/22
Jerry,
We are numbed and saddened about the loss of Andy. But I’m sure no more than you.
Bob and I left two plants at your house on Tuesday. Both are undemanding and can be put in pots or in the ground. The one with the pink seed pod is night blooming. It glows in the dark and almost looks like the blooms have lights in them ….. I would be happy to try to find new homes for any of Andy’s belongings that you want distributed ….. But you have the luxury of not having to be in a hurry. It gets easier when we have had a chance to live with our emotions for a while ….. We love you.
Aloha,
Paula and Bob [Ress, Kailua, Oahu, HI]
_____________________________________________________________________
Card mailed ca. 8/30/22
Dear Jerry,
May you find comfort in knowing that others are holding you close to their hearts in this difficult time.
Tuan Nguyen & Jean Morel [Kahala, Oahu, HI]
______________________________________________________________________
Poem e-mailed ca. 8/30/22
Good Bye Andy Kay
I’d like to say good bye to you. I couldn’t sleep all night.
I wanted to say something that was relevant and bright.
You went away so quickly, and so quietly as well.
It wasn’t at all like you, but only time will tell.
I’ve known you for a long, long time - your dancing, and your art.
You had so many talents they could fill a shopping cart.
My daughters knew you more than I. Post seeing you they’d say:
That Andy is a charming wit, and he just made my day.
I really love the art you’d make. So good is what I feel.
Though mine’s not worth a penny. They’re copies. They’re not real.
My daughter has a real work of art that you sold her.
But I’m content in knowing, it’s like wearing fakey fur.
In composition and in dance your form was high fantastic.
Though give or take, make no mistake, you were a bit bombastic.
Your fashion flair, it was all there. So, thank you, Ms. Dior;
When you came in you did command the center of the floor
To me you had a brilliant side. His name is J. Dupont
A very fount of knowledge. A winner on a mount.
Barbara Bronster [Kahala, Oahu, HI]
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
Card mailed ca. 8/30/22
Dear Jerry,
May you find comfort in knowing that others are holding you close to their hearts in this difficult time.
Tuan Nguyen & Jean Morel [Kahala, Oahu, HI]
___________________________________________________________________
E-mailed 8/31/22
REMEMBERING MY FRIEND, ANDY KAY - August 2022
Michael Oster
[Context - Michael, who lives in Manhattan and has known Andy for over 40 years, has made a distinguished career as a dealer in Chinese art and antiques. Portions from this memorial text will be used to elucidate various exhibits that will be mounted on this website in future months.]
Around 1980 I was working for an Actor's Agency that represented Kim Hunter, who had won an Academy Award for "Stella" in Streetcar Named Desire. When Kim found out I had an interest in Chinese Arts, she arranged for me to meet her friend from dancing class, Andy Kay, who she told me was, quite remarkably a former dancer now teaching Chinese ink painting to Westerners!
I met this slight, esthetic young man, who looked like Mick Jagger, clutching a portfolio of artworks and publicity to show me in introduction. I would continue for some 42 years to be someone Andy was anxious to show his newest works to for approval; not listening to my advice that the public wanted consistency from their artists. No one wants a versatile, ever-changing artist. And I was to learn that 'experiment' turned out to be Andy's favorite media - I so clearly remember his sheer joy watching blank paper soaking up any color. Still, over the years, I saw a similarity in much of Andy's works as he switched from a very complicated dye-and-resist painting on silk (most notably in a sold out show at Bergdorf Goodman's 'Nina's Gallery' in 1982 - but also for floral ballerina skirts for John Cranko's Stuttgart Ballet Company), to color abstractions, collage, shaped canvases or panels, and works incorporating gold leaf work, even a wool mural - but there was always and simultaneously his fluency with Chinese Ink Painting (both Zen Buddhist and traditional) to which he would often add ironic comments in ink & brush (like, 'there's that fishing boat that gets into every Chinese painting of water!' or 'an Enso circle too close to perfect to throw out').
I have a small but sublime dye & resist silk painting of 2 black ink rocks sitting in a calm blue sea - I like to think a wonderful metaphor for our eternal friendship (he had even found a Tai-wanese craftsman to mount it as a hanging scroll for me). He never went back to this kind of work, and I wonder what happened to the works that Nina Goodman sold for him.
Andy asked me to look out for a painting he had done on commission for the Fashion Designer, Geoffrey Beene when the designer died in 2004. I am still looking, but I am afraid, like a lot of Andy's work, it is currently missing - maybe gone. A friend and I were responsible for getting a commission for him painting the lobby of 1049 Park Avenue, a building formerly only known from the opening credits of the TV Comedy, "The Odd Couple." The building was anxious to establish itself as an 'old money' Park Avenue Co-op and Andy gave them tapestry-like paintings of famous views in Central Park in sepia colors. Within a few years, new Co-Op boards decided that the building needed to look more modern and Andy's murals were covered with chrome trimmed mirror; now looking instead like the entrance to Oscar Madison's favorite Deli.
Andy was a daunting house guest with his enthusiasms for the stories of your possessions, the latest gossip, and, God-forbid you had books in the house, there would be no sleep! Besides dear Jerry, I met a lot of interesting people through Andy, and all seemed to respect this extraordinary artist who was living such a busy and artistic life. Often there would be one of Andy's artworks prominently displayed in their apartment - like in mine. The dancer, the live performer in Andy confirmed his own evanescence destined to be remembered best by those touched by witnessing those performances.
Besides the finished compositions, I am assuming a lot of people have saved the labor-intensive cards and letters Andy would make as part-gift, part-correspondence. I have frag-ments of Chinese Ink Paintings where Andy only really found a few inches successful, so they would be edited down from large works - to little cards to decorate his effusive letters. I would even occasionally get painted envelopes, or envelopes collaged with dozens of 1cent to 3 cent antique stamps that the USPS is still obligated to deliver if they add up to the correct postage (maybe they don't even check - Andy told me he thoughtfully offered to cancel all these stamps for the post office person - but they usually came un-canceled). I once got stationery center-headed with an enormous Chinese red seal of the last Empress (circa 1900) with an apology from Andy for taking the liberty! According to the accompanying note, he had photo-shopped the seal from an otherwise unmemorable hanging scroll purportedly by her that we had seen at one of the New York Asia Week Exhibitions at Christie's Auction House.
He loved extending his friendships and I am reminded of something that seems so very Andy Kay: Andy was very impressed by Arthur Gold and Robert Fizdale, concert pianists before Andy's time who had given up the concert stage to write bestselling biographies of Misia Sert and Sarah Bernhardt - and then had a further career as chefs dedicating their cookbook to Balanchine! Andy very much wanted to meet them and had succeeded in finding out their address. On one of his visits to New York City around 1995, he was dropping off one of his illustrated fan-letters at their Central Park West building and was meeting me afterwards. It was one of the few times I can remember Andy unhappy - he was too late. The doorman told him Arthur Gold was dead and Robert Fizdale was near death. It never occurred to Andy to check first, and he never doubted they were going to be pleased to make his acquaintance.
As I think back about Andy, I am truly amazed at all his traveling. He continued to show up in New York, even while his core group of friends here dwindled. And he would arrive with a busy schedule as though he had never left.
One experience a few years ago was very special. All he told me was to come down to Soho where he was working with some friends. When I arrived, I was the sole audience for an extra-ordinary performance of a Seniors Interpretive Dance Group that was interacting, with music to Andy, who was on the floor with enormous long sheets of paper and lots of black Chinese Ink interpreting their dancing in his abstract drawing as the dancers fed off Andy's painting. I can-not describe it properly, except to tell you I was very overcome by the evanescence of such beauty - and I hope I was able to convey how deeply they touched this audience of one. For Andy, it was just another project - just the sort of thing he did.
I have been thinking how much I will miss him - To whom am I going to send obscure references to the Symbolists & Decadents, la Belle Epoque, Society in the 1920's, Surrealism, the Dance, Vintage Fashion or China with its traditions, customs, superstitions and ironies? - these were all Andy's fascinations. Still, I hold that I can continue to converse with Andy who will always be the attentive listener and I will see that big smile and hear that conspiratorial laughter. That way Andy, you are not really gone but still with us.
For Andy with all my love,
___________________________________________________________________
Card mailed 9/3/22
Dear Jerry,
We are so sorry to hear about the loss of dear Andy. There is no one like him; his kind ways, his warm smiles, his inclusive nature. We will miss him.
Sending you our deepest condolences and hoping the love you had for each other keeps you strong during this difficult time.
With love and aloha,
Laurie and Ron Fried [Honolulu, HI]
_____________________________________________________________________
Card mailed 9/3/22
Oh Jerry,
I was so sad to hear about Andy. I only met him that one time, with you, when you visited me and Carol. But he lit up my life that day. Know that my thoughts are with you.
Love,
Elizabeth [Zimmer, NYC]
_____________________________________________________________________
9/7/22
Dear Jerry,
I am thinking of you. I’m so sorry to hear about Andy. He sure was one of a kind, and such a loving, warm, fun friend.
Sending my deepest condolences and love.
Maia [NYC]
_____________________________________________________________________
Card mailed 9/15/22
Dear Jerry,
I’m very sad to hear the news of Andy passing recently in his sleep. I’m hoping that we all will pass like that without any pain. I know he’s had health difficulties, so it’s been challenging. Getting older isn’t easy. We need to be a warrior – to march forward – it’s a struggle – yoga helps – friends and family help. Let your emotions out – feel your feelings – express those feelings – process & release – cry – journal – and day by day it gets easier. I understand. Love you.
Jeanne Wilson-Gonzales [Eva Beach, Oahu, HI
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
Letter mailed 9/17/22
Dearest Jerry,
The sun has set! Wherever Andy was there was light, warmth, kindness, love. The gift that he brought to the world with his bright and beautiful light will continue to warm the hearts of all the people who were lucky enough to meet him.
My thoughts and prayers are with you in this difficult and sad time of farewell. I send you my fondest wishes for the tremendous strength you now need to cope with the deep loss of the person you shared your life with.
O what wonderful memories I have and treasure of our happy time together in Spain. It would be so wonderful to meet you again one day – who know maybe destiny will provide. For now I send you all my love, warm and heartfelt hugs.
Tatjana [Zuboff-Rainey, Berlin, Germany] ______________________________________________________________________
Letter mailed 9/17/22
Jerry,
I cannot imagine what you are going through without Andy. I feel so lost. Some of my happiest days were with the two of you. You’re the two big brothers I didn’t have naturally.
Mary [Edwards, Seaside, CA] ______________________________________________________________________
Letter mailed 9/17/22
Dear Jerry,
Among the wonderful memories I have of Baky’s Birthday Party is the time spent with you and Andy enjoying Margery’s home and art collection. He was a joyful presence! I hardly know Andy – but I do know how hard it is to live without that special person. My condolences.
Carol Langue [Honolulu, HI] ___________________________________________________________________
9/27/22
Dear Jerry,
Such a beautiful tribute. I especially appreciate all the pictures of the both of you and Andy alone. Will never look at the Koolau’s or clouds without remembering Andy with much love!
Aloha
Christina [Crowe, Honolulu & Boston]
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
9/27/22
Dear Jerry,
I want to let you know how sad we were to know Andy passed away. What an EBULLIENT man. I have the best memories of Hawaii because of you two. Alex STILL talks about how much that man knew about Thai food. And that smile? I won't forget it.
Would you consider coming to be with us at Thanksgiving? It promises to be nutty. You are absolutely invited to this and can stay as long/little as you like. My house is yours.
With much love,
Steph [Stephanie Wengert Watts, East Lansing, MI]
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
9/27/22
Dear Jerry,
I’m stunned by this news and so saddened—still trying to take it in. Andy was such a joyful and generous man. I’m heartened to think that his spirit will live on in his many creative works and in the memories that you and his many friends have of him and will cherish as time goes on.
I remember a morning at Frangipani Cottage on Kauai when you and Andy visited Anne and me. Andy and I were sitting on the porch, and we had some watercolour paints out. Andy was encouraging me to feel the freedom to create. I could see that he would be a wonderful teacher (although I was a poor student).
Having a watercolour of Andy’s hanging in my office means a lot to me—now a tangible reminder of a lovely, talented man.
Below is a photo of the two of you from that visit in 2016. Happy times.
I’m so very sorry for your loss, Jerry.
All my love and support as you move forward on your own,
Ann [Rae, Georgetown, ON, Canada]
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
9/27/22
Dear Jerry,
What a beautiful memorial video! Everything was perfect. So touching and appropriate.
We’ll be sure to share it.
Love,
Debbie & Brad [Evans, San Francisco, CA]
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
9/27/22
Dear Jerry,
What a beautiful memorial. I will share it with Jill, and Carol, and other friends and family who knew and loved Andy.
I returned from California a few days ago, but Rick stayed on and is off riding his motorcycle in the Sierra’s. If you are up for it, I’d love to have a little gathering with you and our friends here when he returns. Much love.
Carol [Naish, Kailua, Oahu, HI]
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
9/27/22
Jerry,
We were surprised and saddened to hear of Andy’s passing and your loss. Andy was such a kind soul filled with compassion and love of the arts.
Thank you for providing the link to his website and the memorial video. It was a beautiful tribute to Andy.
Doug and Fana will always remember their visit with you two last 4th of July weekend.
With much aloha spirit,
Doug, Andrew and Denise
[Doug Oldfield & Andrew Creely were our lawyers recently. Denise is their paralegal. Carmel, CA. Fana is Doug’s wife.]
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
9/27/22
Oh my god jerry I’m so sorry to hear this!
I send so much love to you. You must be having such a hard time. Please let me know if you need anything at all.
Andy was an amazing man and such a loving soul. I’m so sorry.
Aloha,
Kevin Devine [Haleiwa, Oahu, HI]
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
9/27/22
Dear Jerry,
Thank you so much for creating the memorial video which Carol Naish forwarded to me. It was
so beautifully put together, and I just sat here at my computer crying for the great human being we lost,
but also crying tears of joy for the time I was able to spend with him, and for his long, creative and wonderful life.
Hoping to see you soon.
Love,
Carol [Egan, Kailua, Oahu, HI]
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
9/27/22
Dear Jerry,
What a wonderful tribute to Andy. Thank you so much for sending, it means so much. I will forward on to a couple of people from our Stuttgart days.
All the best,
Cathy [Giese, Boise, ID]
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
9/27/22
My dear Jerry,
Thousand thanks for sending Andy's memorial video which made me cry so much while viewing it... What a great void he's left us! I'm sending it right now to Hilde and Gotzone.
A kiss and a big hug that I would like them to be physically true!!!
Sp [Espe Goikolea, San Sebastian, Spain]
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
9/27/22
Jerry,
This is so beautiful, so moving. Thank you for sending it.
I miss Andy so much. I think to call him, but it's too early - then I remember that I need to use a different channel. I haven't felt his presence, but I did get a lotus necklace to feel connected to him.
Who took the drone shots? Who put it together? It must've been both painful and therapeutic. I'm so glad you've had company, and I'm sure it will be good to have some time to yourself - it will allow a different kind of processing. Let's talk over the weekend.
Sending so much love,
Christine [Bode, NYC]
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
9/27/22
Hi Jerry,
Thank you very much for sending the link on to us. I will also forward to Nate and my parents. They have one of Andy's paintings hanging in their living room and I think this will be touching to them.
Andy will be sorely missed but we are better for having known him.
Aloha,
Jarrett [Helm, Kaneohe, HI]
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
9/27/22
Hi, Jerry,
I know Doug emailed you today, but I wanted to convey my condolences directly. I’m so sad to hear about Andy’s death. It makes me teary. He was such a kind and delightful person, and it was always a pleasure to talk with him, even if it was about legal stuff. I’m glad I got to know him.
If I get out to Hawaii I’d love to see you.
Take care and know that you’re in my thoughts.
Andrew [Creely, Carmel, CA, Andrew & Doug were once Andy’s lawyers]
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
9/27/22
Dear Jerry,
Oh my gods, that is so beautiful.
The flowers will be beautiful.
Floodgates.
Aloha,
Lindsay [Lindsay Jackson, Orlando, FL]
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
9/27/22
Jerry,
Thank you for the video.
Sharing the special places Andy wished his ashes would be is a beautiful memorial to the love you shared. Well done!
I look forward to seeing you on Zoom when you are ready.
Aloha,
Barbara [Hughes, Walnut Creek, CA]
______________________________________________________________________
Card mailed 9/28/22
Dear Jerry,
The intense happiness and unselfish generosity you two shared lives on. We all enjoyed Andy’s special, authentic, sweet, and warm spirit. So grateful!
Beverly [Allen, Bellevue, WA] ________________________________________________________________________________________________________
9/28/22
Hi Jerry,
Mom Sent me the link to Andy’s memorial. I shed a tear with a smile on my face😊 The rain blessing on Lanikai point was wonderful! I’m so sad he’s gone, yet, so happy to have been blessed with the time I got to spend with him, with both of you.
Andy talked to me like I was the most important person in the world, i didn’t know how much he cared till mom told me how deeply he cared for me. I wish I could have had him in my life sooner.
It’s strange. l will miss him, yet he will always be with me…..memories are powerful things…..
I would love to see you and give you a hug when you’re ready….Glass of red wine in mom’s backyard…….
If there’s anything I can do….Anything. Aloha Jerry……..
Love and aloha!
Randy [Naish, Kailua, Oahu, HI]
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
9/28/22
Good morning, Jerry!
The Lord give you his peace! One of the first things I wanted to do this morning was to watch Andy’s video. It’s so well done, Jerry, really touching without being maudlin. Thank you for sharing it with me. He really was photogenic; those pictures capture him perfectly. Can you imagine what portion of the video I loved the most? It was the ending where you focused quite long on the Japan-ese circle he painted (I don’t know the correct name for it). You might not remember, but when I was leaving Kaneohe after my wonderful three weeks with both of you in ‘14, he gave me a copy of that – and I have had it hanging in my room here at St. Bonaventure’s ever since: a daily loving remembrance of that good man. Now I treasure it only more. Gosh, in two weeks I will be there again. I will certainly miss seeing him but am happy that all these arrangements were made with his eager expectation. I certainly look forward to this time with you, Jerry, and learning even more about this man who loved you with all his heart--and vice versa of course.
Dan [Crosby, Detroit, MI]
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
9/29/22
Wow, Jer!
First, I am impressed that you could keep yourself that composed as you described the places Andy and you loved. Then, it was so professionally done. You, your and Andy's friends did a beautiful job. It was lovely and touching. Thank you for sharing it.
Bob [Wengert, Champaign, IL]
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
9/29/22
I agree 100% with Dad. Thanks for sharing him with us.
[Stephanie Watts, Bob Wengert’s daughter, East Lansing, MI, on 10/2/22]
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
10/1/22
Dear Jerry,
Thank you so much for sharing the memorial. I've shared the link with my dad and brother, as well as some other folks I think would want to know and view this beautiful tribute.
Thinking of you and sending lots of love,
Kate and Clem [Kate Carcaterra & Clem Wood, NYC]
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
10/2/22
Dear Jerry,
I was a member of the Alive and Limber exercise class that Andy taught with Carol Naish.
I just read of Andy’s passing. My name is Sharon O’Hara and I am sending my deepest sympathy. I will certainly pass this on.
I am so saddened by the news of his passing. I had heard so much about you from Andy and was so happy to meet you at Carol Naish’s house one night for dinner.
I still can’t believe he is gone. Was he sick for a long time?
Anyway, my deepest sympathy to you, I hope you will be okay.
With love and sympathy,
Sharon [O’Hara, Kailua, Oahu, Hawaii]
_____________________________________________________________________
Card mailed 10/3/22
Dear Jerry, Andy was an original – so loving, so sweet, so talented. He will be missed.
Much Love
Jamie
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
Dear Jerry, For me, an era is over. Reminiscing about old days was a constant pleasure with Andy. I already miss him very much. Any time I was up past midnight was an opportunity to call. I’m so sorry for your loss. All love,
Paul
[Jaime Hamlin & Paul Lazes, Vineyard Haven, MA]
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
10/3/22
Dearest Jerry,
Thank you very much for your mail from yesterday. We had heard on 26 august of Andy´s passing through Eileen. On 27 august we sent you an email on the address andy@zenhallhawaii.com. Maybe it ended up somewhere else. I quote the letter again below.
From the bottom of our hearts, we wish you to so find again at your beautiful home and dream garden the joy you always shared with Andy. We think of you often dear Jerry and wish you much strength and confidence in the midst of the 1000 memories of our Andy!
Text from 27 August e-\mail is below:
Dearest Jerry,
Last night we received the sad news through Eileen suddenly seemed to stand still, the unexpected, incomprehensible, a beloved longtime friend. Andy was so close to us like a brother always will be. We look back on our time with him with love. Andy, who loved the full splendor of the lotus flower so much, with his art with many people in the world, shouldn´t be there anymore.
Jerry, There´s a poem by Michelangelo that begins with the phrase "I´m not dead, I’m just changing rooms..." That´s comforting because you be together for us. You´re not alone. You are forever in our hearts. Jerry, we are thinking of you and wish you strength and confidence in this difficult time.
With love,
Gerd and Sylvia [The Netzlers, Sienna, Italy]
(Sylvia has completed an image that accurately reflects the symbolism)
[Note: Sylvia, aka Muki, is an artist. She and Andy built up collections of each other’s works. Gerd is referring to a photo of her latest work.]
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
10/3/22
Still - not able to realize that he is somewhere else - dearest Jerry, wishing to be with you now to cope with this unknown situation, feeling deprived…? Thank you very much for letting us share this mystery – the memorial video. Hedda and Ulf and Milena and Oliva
Sent from my iPhone [The Esser-Twiehaus Family, Den Hague, Nederlands]
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
10/3/22
Dearest Jerry,
I just watched the very beautiful memorial video. Thank you for sharing these precious moments and memories of Andy with us. This is so well done and a great gift. Andy is deeply missed and yearned for. I send you all my love and endless hugs. My heart is truly with you Jerry.
Love always,
Jan [Zeitlin, Sebastopol, CA ]
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
Card mailed 10/4/22
Jerry,
We were very sorry to learn of Andy’s passing and want you to know that you are in our thoughts. We always enjoyed talking with him on New Year’s Day at the Naish’s.
With deepest sympathy,
Karen & David Brown [Kaneohe, Oahu, HI] ______________________________________________________________________
Card mailed 10/5/22
Jerry,
I’m so sorry to hear of Andy’s death. I’m writing to say how much I feel for you and your friends who knew him well. I am very remiss in issuing you both a thank you letter for your kind and generous friendship at the time I visited Hawaii with Jamie. I’m hoping you are well & sending healing thoughts.
Fondly,
Annie [Foley, Martha’s Vineyard, MA ] ______________________________________________________________________
Letter mailed 10/8/22
Dear Jerry,
May the memories of intense beauty & joy that you shared remain with you forever!
Sending much love,
Beverly [Allen, Bellevue, WA] ________________________________________________________________________________________________________
10/9/22
Hi Jerry.
Thank you for sharing Andy's video with us. It was very moving, and I was glad to be included, however remotely.
Andy was so uniquely himself. He made a great impression on me even in the small amount of time I had with him. I am grateful for it.
I hope you are well and looking after yourself during this transition. I still remember you explaining microfiche to me when I was a kid!
-MacLeod (Cloudy) [Pappidas, Oregon]
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
10/10/22
My dear Jerry,
Thank you so much for sharing the moving and heartfelt video of Andy's memorial. I really felt there with you, and it was so wonderful to see your garden and all the other places that Andy loved so much. The music was glorious too, especially the Arvo Part Spiegel im spiegel.
We shall miss Andy terribly but will keep fond and happy memories of him in our hearts. Thinking of you every day, Andy's wonderful artwork is there on the wall...
As Robert will no doubt tell you, he shared the memorial with Kim Branstrup (choreo-grapher) who forwarded it to others for whom we did not have details.
We hope to see you one of these days, if you ever feel like coming over we shall welcome you with open arms, as always.
With so much love and affection,
Helen xxx [Knox, London UK]
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Card mailed 10/10/22
My dear Andy,
Sarah and I will miss you forever.
Jerry,
I don’t have your number, so please contact me through this site.
Martin has also died, so I know just how sad you must be.
I’d really love to talk to you.
Penny (and Martin) and Sarah [Penny Kaiman-Rayner, Honolulu]
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Card mailed 10/11/22
Jerry,
I am so sorry to hear Andy is gone. He was such a special soul – to so many of us – always generous with his talents – opening our eyes to beauty in the world. Always a smile for us all.
Much aloha,
Judy Dos Santos [Anacortes, WA]
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
10/11& 12/22
Dear Jerry,
I was stunned & shocked to receive news of Andy’s passing! I am so touched that you thought of me.
I just found a quiet moment alone and watched the gorgeous and heartfelt memorial video for the first time. Lanikai is one of my favorite spots too! It’s a place I want some of my ashes scattered too, so we will all eventually be in close proximity. It looks like it started raining after you spread his ashes there. Talk about more blessings! And your home and gardens are spectacular. I had no idea you lived in such a magical spot.
I am so very sorry for your loss, Jerry. I can’t imagine the pain and sadness you are going through. The last month has been clouded with deaths in our sphere. My brother-in-law passed away 3 weeks ago. Then our very dear friend in San Francisco passed away last Saturday after a long illness. And Andy!
Thank you again for thinking of me, Jerry. I have known you and Andy for quite some time - since the early days of PICA. You have been faithful followers! I hope one day to resume concerts again, somehow. You’ll be among the first to hear about it.
My love and warmest Aloha,
Greg [Greg Wren, San Francisco]
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
Hi again, Jerry,
Per the notice on Andy’s memorial website, please keep me posted of any updates.
btw. . . I wonder if you’ll recognize the attached photo? This is the watercolor that Andy painted as a gift for me after the Pa’ahana concert many years ago. It’s hanging on the wall in our guestroom. It’s so special to me, even more so now. I just snapped this photo to share with you. (I had to take the photo from an angle, since it’s late at night, and there was glare/reflection from the lights.)
I just had to share this with you!
Love,
Greg [Greg Wren, San Francisco]
[Note: A copy of Greg’s original watercolor will included in the
online presentation of Andy’s personal collection of his art works
which will be appearing fairly soon on his memorial web site.]
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Card mailed 10/12/22
Aloha Jerry~
I send my love and support for your great loss.
Please keep me on your list of anything you are sending out in remembrance of Andy.
He was an amazing person and teacher.
Mitzy Gold [Honolulu]
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Card mailed 10/13/22
Dear Jerry,
So incredibly sad to hear this difficult-to-believe news of Andy’s death. That such a bright light could be extinguished so suddenly is unthinkable.
My heart goes out to you, my friend. You and Andy were together as long as John and I, so long that it was impossible to have a thought of one without the other immediately coming to mind. Now, to embrace this new reality is incredibly daunting.
My wish for you is that you will come to feel that Andy is with you always, that he is a part of you that can never be taken away, that at unexpected moments you can hear what he would say and know how he would feel – and that in those moments you experience pure joy.
In my heart and prayers,
Rachel [Porter, Haleiwa, Oahu, HI]
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
10/14/22
Dear Jerry,
I was so very sad to learn of Andy's passing. He was a truly lovely, caring, upbeat, and inspiring person and I feel fortunate to have known him. He always made me feel valued, loved, and hopeful.
I'll miss his smile, those beautiful blue eyes, his talent, and his passion for life.
I know this is a very difficult time for you and hope that you are finding ways to take care of yourself as you navigate this terrible new reality. And if there's anything I can do to help, I hope you feel comfortable reaching out to me.
I'll be thinking of you and missing Andy.
With love,
Ellen [Rissman, Northeastern Illinois]
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Card mailed 10/20/22
Dear Jerry,
I was so sorry to hear about Andy’s passing. I’ve been thinking of you these last weeks. The memorial you shared was quite moving.
Andy lived a beautiful life. I remember fondly the dinner we all had together at my house in Ypsilanti. Andy patiently listened to Bea talk about a school art project, and then declared cheerfully that she “just about summed up color theory.”
That’s how I’ll remember him – generous, encouraging, and a true artist.
Sending you much love,
Abby [Adams, Ypsilanti, MI]
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
10/21/22
Dear Jerry,
I wish I had words to comfort you. All I know for sure is Andy would want you to find joy and happiness even without him. As Joe Biden is so fond of saying, "One day, a smile will come before the tears when you think of them." But that is for later. For now, grieve this monumental loss with everything you've got. I'm so glad you have your yoga practice to give you some solace and strength.
When I think of Andy, I smile and remember him saying to me as we strode down the lane to the beach, "What planet did you say you were Princess on?" I remember how much Marie of "Dale and Marie" found such happiness learning Enso art with Andy. I remember Andy's beautiful painting hanging in my cousin's place on L'Orange. His indomitable, creative, and hilariously funny spirit lives on in all of us. What a sparkling gem.
You filled his life with the deepest love from the day you met at Diamond Head and how ultimately wonderful you had 4+ decades to love and take care of each other. What a blessing. I am sending you all my love and healing vibes as you navigate this life without him. He is inside you forever. All my love,
Robin Mishell [NYC]
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
10/22/22
Dear Jerry,
You have been in my thoughts frequently since Andy died. That first shock and grief have moved further away for me and now I am left with joy as a part of the aching loss. I’m “carrying” Andy with me each time I sit with the brush he gave me. Today I’ve been getting my studio and painting supplies ready for tomorrow when I’ll be taking a class with some of the OAS folks that Andy first introduced me to.
What a wonderful legacy Andy left to all of us. I wrote down some of his silly off the cuff retorts and quotes: “If a snail thinks it can climb Mt. Fuji ,then why not?” - “Gold, Pearl, and Silver can’t be bad.” - Linda: “I can do nothing!” Andy: “It’s Ok but you didn’t do anything I said!” - “Anytime you leave white you’re glad you did!” –“If you’re afraid of brown paper you’re just self-indulging.” - And my favorite: “What do you talk about to a seventeen-year-old transvestite?” “Accessories!”
Knowing Andy is one of the nicest things I’ve experienced since moving back home to Hawaii. Memories of things we did……going to the Honolulu Art Museum…...being a part of painting/collaging the floor of your new home on my birthday!......shopping and eating Dim Sum in Chinatown……being introduced to various people and shops where I could get supplies……He was a guiding hand in so many ways.
He is responsible for me not keeping a car I had just bought and instantly disliked. The only place I drove it was to your place. He simply would not stop telling me I could and should return the car, something my Mid-west ethics would never dream of. He kept at me saying, “You’re listening but I can tell you aren’t going to do this….” and then he kept going…and going. By the time I drove back home I was ready to tell Ron I wanted to take the car back…..and off we went!! It was amazing!
The best part is that I carry his voice in my head as I put brush to paper. It’s like his presence is hovering gently nearby. And, when I get frustrated, I remember him saying “Let’s have some tea”. Nobody ever made tea that tasted as good to me as his.
Thank you for the wonderful video you made for us all to keep him in our hearts.
A Hui Hou,
Juditha [Murashige, Honolulu]
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
10/26/22
Dear Jerry,
My deepest condolences. Please be in touch and take care of yourself.
Aloha
Tusha Buntin [Honolulu]
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
Card mailed 11/2/22
Jerry,
I just returned from 3 months in the Bay Area taking care of my beloved sister.
Reading the news of Andy’s passing was a shock, but I remember him with such joy – for life, for art, for his students, for Hawaii, for your garden, and most of all for your very special relationship.
I’m sure Andy is finding joy in his next journey. We were lucky to have crossed paths.
With fond aloha,
Pat [Patricia Whittingslow, Honolulu]
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
11/7/22
Dear Jerry,
What a beautiful video. So touching and filled with the sweetness of Andy and the palpable love between you.
I am honored to have “been there” with you via the video.
Carol Pool [Woodlawn Hills, CA]
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
11/8/22
Dear Jerry,
This is Cindy Evans the person that lives next-door to Andy’s mom that you met
one day in my garage :-) Jerry I’m so sorry for your loss as I am sure you miss him deeply every day. I thank you from the bottom of my heart that you inform me of his death. These will be tough days for you Jerry, as I know you and Andy loved one another deeply and had a very long relationship.
I adored receiving emails from Andy now and again with cat pictures or pictures of I believe your blue point cat… I will miss seeing Andy’s emails pop up now and again keeping us tethered by our love of animals/cats.
Jerry please know that my prayers and love are of you and for you as I think of you
and I do so appreciate you reaching out to me to let me know of your loss of your dear one Andy… Again I will miss his sweet little way of showing up in my life with an email of our common interests :-)
Take care Jerry, blessings to you, and I do so again appreciate you reaching out to me knowing that there was a connection between Andy and I though we all did not spend but a little bit of time together.
Blessings Jerry, 🙏🏻❤️🦋
Cindy [Evans, Carmel, CA]
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
11/8/22
Dearest Jerry.
Thinking 💭 of you and hoping that you are well coping with the loss of your dearest Love and our beloved friend Andy … Thank you 🙏 for sending me most beautiful drawings of Andy that you found …
We are fine but yes at the same time very confronted with friends and dear people that get very sick or pass away … So we recognize Time very much … I so very much hope that you will find peace and strength to find your place ..
Andy is all around in his unique spirit ..
All love 💕 to you. ..
Sabine & Jiri [Kupferberg & Kilian, Den Hague, Netherlands]
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
11/14/22
Dear Jerry,
I was so sorry to hear of Andy's passing, and just wanted to offer my sympathy and condolences.
So glad we were able to spend those few times together, thanks to our mutual friends Carol Egan and Christina Crowe.
I 've been thinking of you and wishing you well
Michael Zucker [Honolulu]
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
11/14/22
Dear Jerry,
Am so happy and so proud to have seen and heard your video about Andy. So many thanks for him, my so wonderful friend Andy! I loved him truly and will ever do.
I send you today my true and best feelings and hugs,
André [Kneib, Puberg, France]
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Card mailed 11/17/22
Dear Jerry,
I will always cherish my memories of Andy – his beautiful and sensitive collaboration with Margie’s group, and his hosting us so generously on Oahu. His calligraphy hangs on my bedroom wall. He will not be forgotten. Wishing you peace and sending you love always,
Sue [Hogan, NYC]
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
11/22/22]
Hi Jerry,
Thank you. The video is beautifully done, and for I'chan and me it is very emotional to watch you and feel your love for Andy. Us too. Always much aloha.
Jay and I'chan [Voss, Honolulu]
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Card & letter mailed 3/13/23
Dear Jerry,
What to say> It was 6 mos. Before I know of Andy’s passing. But, as you know, he is not gone. His presence has always been so powerful that you feel him where ever you are. At least I always have – ever since we met – oh so long ago. I remember the moment.
It was at a health food store I worked at (1971). One of those old fashioned ones with a counter and stools for carrot juice or baked cottage cheese w. onions (yum!). My place was on the other side across the aisle at the register w. vitamins, etc. behind me and a slew of healthy candy bars in front. There was your Beloved, undecided and dithering over which one. I said “You must be frustrated.” He answered “You must be psychic!” And, as you can imagine a friendship (which always fit like an old friendship) ensued.
As you know Andy’s energy always energized a room and peoples’ lives. So many times I would have like to visit you in Hawaii over the last many years, but it always seemed so far. It seems my wanderlust had been satiated a while back and I’ve become somewhat of a homebody.
I’m glad that Andy and I had caught up a lot when I was working on the book and he didn’t hesitate to give stinging (not really that bad, but you know how it hurts over a creation) criticism. His perspective is always welcome and so helpful and honest – where others may not be so.
These days so many are passing (must be our age), but I often feel what a party we’ll have at the reunion. It is up to us – you, me, & others to hold up the balance of light here on earth. It is up to them to welcome us.
I am sending your so much love and light – for I’m sure being with Andy every day – and then not – must be quite a transition to go through.
Wishes for your life to be filled with so many ministering angels of love, comfort, peace, and light.
With much love and deep gratitude for keeping Andy so happy all these wonderful years.
Ellen [Maxson, Vero Beach, FL]
____________________________________________________________________________
Dear Jerry,
I didn’t hear you had lost Andy until your New Year’s message. I am so very sorry. He was an amazing person, not just as an artist, but as a human being. I always enjoyed it when he was part of a group. I’s hard to imagine you or Hawaii without him.
I viewed your video of the scattering of his ashes. It was very moving. And I hadn’t seen your garden before – it’s spectacular! I’m so glad that you are going to be able to continue to live there.
I’ll e-mail you to be put on the list to be informed of the updates to Andy’s website. I really appreciate what’s already been posted.
Hang in there Jerry. I hope life becomes easier for you as time passes. It has for me. I can scarcely believe that Kozo has been gone for over 6 years. I’m just grateful for all the years I had with him.
With heartfelt sympathy and love,
Susan (Hanley, Seattle, WA)
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Letter mailed ”via slugs” 4/20/23
Dear Andy Kay,
you left your earthly body
but you did not leave me
not me at all
your memory will live
your kindness
your awareness
your actions
your creativity
your old old soul
your creative skills
your body was your art
Jerry your foundation
yoga was you
your yoga was the dance of your soul
your twinkly bright blue eyes never missed anything
Your zen was alive in all you painted
your past carried you in glory
your dancing was light filling the empty space
Your smile filled my heart
Your generosity was boundless
As you once said to this “Lala”
“I’m so glad you are (were) in my world
you remain there and always will.
Lala (Christiansen, Waialua, HI)
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Count as of 4/21/23 is 66 tributes